Let me be honest...

*Warning:  I was a little annoyed when I wrote this post but I needed to write it to get it out of my system. 

Before pregnancies and kids, I went grocery shopping with out anyone talking to me or telling me what I should do about this or that...I just went grocery shopping for the sake of getting groceries - not advice!  Now, I almost dread grocery shopping.  Not for the fact that prices seem to get higher and higher and quality is about the same if not less than before but for the mere fact that as soon as I enter ANY grocery store I all of a sudden turn into a big sign that says, "Please stare at me and all my children, don't forget to tell me that one of my kids shouldn't be touching that, or you should really buckle in your baby (eventhough she is buckled in she just managed to get out of it again) or why are you buying that kind of juice and please, oh please, don't forget to turn and stare/glare/snicker when one of my kids screams or cries when I tell them not to touch the gum at the checkout line."  I have noticed that people are so willing to stop a pregnant lady and offer up tips and suggestions or warnings.  Why is that?  Do pregnant women have signs that only other people can see?  Do pregnant women need unsolicited baby advice?  I sound so anti-people and so not friendly, right?  I don't think I am.  I remember being somewhere, probably Target, while I was pregnant with Vanessa (baby #3) and I had my little crew with me.  I was at the baby section and a woman was shopping right where I was.  So, she noticed my baby bump and then without hesitation asked me if I was done having kids after this one.  She caught me off guard so I was a bit speechless.  Then she said, "Well, you have a boy and a girl.  A lot of people keep having kids just to have one of each."  I remember being very annoyed, mostly because David just finished spilling all the popcorn and I really wanted some, but also because I was just minding my own business and said woman thought I was in the mood to chat.  Anyway, I told her that I wanted a big family and that I wasn't ready to be done having children.  Woman then said, "Well, it's getting more and more expensive to raise children these days."  Aw.  She only asked because she is going to give me money to help pay for the expenses that come with kids.  Wow, I take it all back.  Oh wait...she isn't.  She just thinks that I don't know that children are expensive, so she's just shining a light on my situation that has otherwise been in the dark.  At that moment I wanted to just say, "Really?  Tell me how expensive YOU think it is and I'll tell you how expensive it really is for me and my husband.  And if you are going to help me pay for our family expenses then you by all means can give me your opinion and warnings.   But if you're not then leave your advice/preaching to yourself and let me be a responsible adult and parent so I can buy my kid some diapers!"  But I didn't say that.  I told her that so long as we can afford it we're going to have lots of kids because my husband has a good job.  Suprisingly, that type of conversation hasn't been the last.  Just a few days ago, with only 2 kids in sight, an older man came up to me and said, "Wow, they get cheaper to get by the dozen."  And it wasn't in a humorous tone either, it was very sharp and again I was stunned.  What was that for?  I had Vanessa and Violet in the cart and that was enough to warrant a comment...really?  I didn't say anything but I am saying something now because it really bothered me.  I don't seek confrontation or disputes but I also don't seek people telling me how many kids I should have or that I have too many.  It's such a personal choice, the conditions of having children - whether wanted or not- and I don't think that just because one has a baby or is pregnant that people have any place to vomit their opinions all over them.  What happens to that person who is struggling to have more kids, whether because of infertility or other conditions, that gets the "why don't you have more kids?" comment.  A lot of comments aren't meant to be hurtful and I get that, but sometimes they are thoughtless and do end up hurting.  The only comments I want to hear are how cute my kids are or did you know that such and such item is on sale.  Don't tell me that I should put a sweater on her or that if I pull her hair tighter it will make it grow or the most annoying one of all, you must have your hands full.  Duh.  I will now avoid going to the grocery store with more than 1 kid and if that means we have to eat canned food, so be it.