I was at playgroup this week. I love going to playgroup. Our kids get to play with each other and I get a chance to chat with some really special ladies. Anyway, it's good for both parent and child. I have come to know different ladies and have learned a lot and have forged bonds with these ladies. I love this playgroup!
Today, while I was watching Violet push a little push toy around a playroom these other two kids (not related to each other) were playing in a corner. I paid attention to Violet, because she is so cute to watch I lose track of time just watching, and minded none to the other kids in the room. Anyway, I heard crying and looked up and saw a little boy crying, he was probably close to 2 yrs old. This 2 yr old had a helicopter mom. There is nothing wrong with that, I am just not one. Anyway, she was never more than a foot away from her son the entire time I noticed her. She picked up her son and held him tight and got the attention of the mother of the child that hit her son. This other mother, was chatting with a girlfriend with her back to her little girl that had slipped into this other playroom. I am not judging this mom either, because I lose track of my kids on a daily basis. Anyway, helicopter mom told chatty mom that her daughter hit her son on the head. Chatty mom almost seemed annoyed that she had to pause her conversation to discipline her kid - which in this case was to say sorry. Chatty mom didn't apologize to helicopter mom nor the crying kid. She picked up her daughter and said, "You have to say you're sorry." The little girl said she was sorry. Helicopter mom didn't seem satisfied with the response from chatty mom nor from the little girl. And really, when a kid under 3 apologizes is it really an apology? I think it's good for them to know that they should apologize but as adults we should know that they are being obedient to their parents and probably don't really understand the whole apology. Anyway, helicopter mom was packing up her things and chatty mom kept chatting with her girlfriend when helicopter mom, as she was walking away, said that the little girl hit her son on purpose-- deliberately. Chatty mom, finally responded to helicopter mom with gusto, "I doubt it was deliberate. She's just being a two year old." I doubt this little girl intended on hurting the little boy. From watching my kids and other kids, I know that sometimes kids will hit but it's not because they want to harm other kids it's because kids are kids and they have their "turf" and will protect it...either by hitting, crying, pushing, running away, whatever. I don't know how I would've reacted. I have always struggled with knowing when to step in and "protect" my child from unwanted pushing, hitting or screaming. My kids are usually on the receiving end of the pushing or hitting, not very much because they're pretty good about stepping away in those situations. But I have had to step in a handful of times and really make known that I am mama-bear and you (seemingly innocent child) better step off. I may have reacted differently when I only had one kid versus 4 kids. Or maybe I'm more protective now than I was. When my kids get pushed around when they're playing soccer I am a mama-bear and I have to breathe and count to 10 and sometimes I feel like kids have to work it out and figure out how to stand their ground and not let kids push them around. I have been helicopter mom and chatty mom and an array of other labels. I'm anticipating that Violet will be the one pushing kids because she is #4 and her whole life has been survival of the fittest. When she wants something she will take it. She does it with her siblings all the time. She is a fighter and I feel like I have to prepare for the future. Any advice?
No comments:
Post a Comment