Aloha

I've been trying to avoid thinking about one of my dearest and most best of friends moving away. Her husband got the opportunity to relocate, for work, to Hawaii. Who would pass up a job relocation to Hawaii? I don't think I could. And so, I had to say goodbye to this amazing family, an extension of my own family really, a few days ago. I wasn't looking forward to it and it proved to be kind of a bitter-sweet moment.
Close to six years ago, Jeff came home from work and said that he invited the new guy at work to come over for dinner with his family. Jeff said that it would be nice of us to welcome them to California, they just moved from D.C. and didn't know anyone here and they had a little girl and it would just be nice if we had them over. Okay. No big deal. Then, Jeff mentioned that they were Hawaiian and "wouldn't it be cool if we made a bunch of cool Hawaiian food for them?" Not cool, Jeff. It became annoying. So, we did. Jeff helped a lot. I'm kind of a social misfit so I worried that there would be awkward silence and what on earth would we talk about? But, we had a common thread - we are members of the same church. That always makes things slightly easier, because for some reason it's nice knowing that we have a similar belief system so I at least have something to talk about...because sometimes I can't find things to talk about. I didn't think much about making friends because I figured I wouldn't see them very much afterwards - why would we? So, they walked into our home, took their shoes off and stayed.
The Tanigawa's have been like family ever since. I love that family and have loved watching it go from 3 to 4 to 5! We've been so fortunate to have them around for intense game nights, last minute babysitting, Halloween crashing, 2009 pregnancies, IKEA, Thanksgiving cheese balls, beach Saturdays, 2010 Census, many many tears over a toy, etc. As our families came together I instantly loved Sheena. She is cool, gorgeous, patient, generous, kind, outgoing, laid back, funny, and just really easy to be friends with. My life was kind of frazzled when they came to our home for the first time and I didn't realize how much she was an answer to my prayers. I needed her to be in my life and even though it kind of stinks that they aren't a short drive away, I am grateful that we had these awesome 6 years. When my oldest, Veronica, asked me why I was sad about Sheena moving away I simply replied, "Because it's hard for grown-up moms to meet people and make friends." Kids have a way of making friends with simpleness, it's just declared - we're going to be friends and it is so. I didn't declare it then, but I am declaring it now, we are going to be friends forever! It's been a blessing for my family to have this cool family to play with and share big life events with and I'm hoping, though there is distance, that we can always remember our awesome friends. My heart is heavy but happy. Aloha and Mahalo to our amazing Tanigawa Ohana!

The next two pictures are of the first Halloween we spent together and the very last Halloween we spent together.  Violet isn't in the last picture because she was busy spilling water or chili or both and Sheena was still pregnant with little Eva - but not for much longer!  Halloween 2007 - 3 kids.  Halloween 2012 - 6 kids and one in the tummy, so 7!

Sisters

Am I seeing double? 
I thought Violet was the closest looking to David as a baby but now I think she looks a lot like Veronica.  Maybe it's the hair? 

We could be sisters...

Sometime last year there was talk about the Geertsen's moving into the ward.  I, like many things that I hear, brushed it off.  Oh wait, that's not entirely true.  When I heard they had a little girl that was Vanessa's age I thought it might be nice to have an extra playmate in nursery.  The reason for my attitude was simply that people move into the ward and then they move on/out - except for us, of course!  I remember a lady in the ward, the very lady who's house these Geertsen's would be living in, came up to me and said that she had a feeling we - which I believe in this case was me and the Geertsen lady - would hit it off.  Well, thank you Sue Davis.  She was right.  And not only that, their little one and my little Vanessa became instant best friends.  Vanessa does not go a single day without mention of her dearest friend.  It's actually pretty awesome to see how quickly they loved each other and how much they stick up for each other and how sometimes they make each other cry, but they still want to spend most of their days together. 

If you know me, I'm not really the type that seeks new friendships.  It's just hard for me to approach people.  I want to, but I sometimes just can't.  So, many things afforded me the opportunities to talk to Geertsen lady, many funny/weird/strange similarities.  The reason for the title of this post is these funny similarities are what could make us sisters.  I remember after talking to Geertsen lady for the first time I came home and told Jeff that she is a lot like me but really, really nice.  Actually, she's a lot friendlier, more giving, sweeter, smarter, more gentle than I could ever be.  Maybe that's why I like her so much.  I feel good being in her presence.  Even when we talk now, there are new things that we find out about each other and we just laugh and laugh and I think to myself, "Only Linda."  Chinese cakes with almonds, now that is weird! 

It brings me to this amazing night I had a month ago.  Jeff says I'm obsessed with Alicia Keys.  I think he may be right.  When we're in the car together I ask him what he wants to listen to and his reply is simply, "Anything but..."  And then I smile because that is what's on my now playing list already.  Anyway, Alicia Keys came to LA for her Girl on Fire tour, which is so good, and I had to go.  Jeff said he would go but would rather I go with someone who could enjoy it more than he.  First person I thought of was Linda.  Of course she loves Alicia Keys!  Good friend + Good Food + Good Music = Awesome night.

 
 Good Friend

 
 Good Food



 Good Music

Birthday #6

David had his 6th birthday. Still refuse to really accept that.  I love this little man.  He melts my heart, he is sweet, he is tender, he notices things, he listens, he secretly sings along with me when I obsessively listen to Alicia Keys in the car, he loves anything that has to do with video entertainment, he is my little boy.  It's a beautiful challenge to have the chance to be his mother.  I feel so blessed to have him be the only boy in a house of girls.  David is a tender young man, and sometimes I forget how sensitive he really is when he gets sad when I comment of how dirty he is when I pick him up from school.  I was washing the bedding, after a long battle with the throw ups, and found a book under David's pillow - My Mom is Great. 
David doesn't ask for much, except always wanting to play video games, so when he asked for a birthday party I was a bit stumped.  Then I asked which kids he wanted to invite and he thought and thought and came up with his best buddy from school, Kennedy.  Not surprising, Kennedy is a girl.  We ended up doing a video game party, because David loves to play video games and he's occupied with anything that has to do with Mario.  It was a nice low key event with friends. 
I love my David. Happy birthday to you - the sweetest boy.

 

 

Thank you to everyone who made the week long celebration of David's birthday so special. David felt the love and I know he appreciated every single thing...like the beautiful Mario cake, Smash Bros, flip flops, art stuff, shoes but mostly feeling the love from everyone and sharing this celebration. Thank you to all for loving my David and helping him feel loved.

Dirty Girl SD 2013

A rite of passage.  Mud. Running. Friends. Sweat.  Walls. Dirty Girl.  Race details... not too strenuous, muddy and beautiful. 
I took this opportunity to have a girls weekend with friends.  The race was on a Saturday morning in San Diego, so it's only logical to spend the night there.  A perfect equation for a weekend getaway.  I have only been away, alone, from my family (Jeff and kids) once in my life and it was just for a total of 12 hrs.  This has been a long time coming, for many reasons.  Mainly, I feel like I need to take some time and step away in order to not feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  I'm not saying every mother is like this, but I am like this.  I love being able to be a stay-at-home-mom and feel so blessed to have that special privilege of being able to witness every stage of growth of all of my children.  Not every mother can be at home with their kid(s) nor wants to, but I get to.  I am grateful for a hard working husband who sees the importance of having a parent available for their children at all times.  It's not easy.  It's work.  It sometimes feels like a thankless job.  I don't get days off.  I am always tired.  It is lonely, really lonely some days.  It makes you feel inadequate, never good enough.  It is hard.  BUT, I also feel that I'm the luckiest to be able to know (even if I can't really remember exact dates) when my kids took their first step or said mama or said "I love you" or to know that because I am home with them I know that oatmeal with extra "love" means lots of brown sugar.  Lately, I have been realizing that my kids are not slowing down, in fact, they seem to be growing faster and faster every day.  I don't know how that is happening because I don't feel like I'm getting older, but in fact I am and in fact THEY are growing up.  I have come to realize that I need to work hard to be present in the lives of my family.  I can't just watch them, I have to be in there - getting dirty!  The time when they are little and you are their world and the coolest and the strongest and the only one that can solve problems is very short in comparison to when they have to do things for themselves.  And just as quickly as they are doing things for themselves they start to realize that you aren't as cool as you once were.  I want to bottle up the look of hope that my little ones have, when they can't figure something out and come to me and they truly believe I am a master and will figure it out for them.  I love that!   My oldest always has to figure things out for herself before she comes to me.  It takes a lot for her to ask me, but when she does, it tugs at my heart because I know she has a twinkling of hope that I can solve her problem. 

The point to my rant?  No point.  I love my family.  Jeff is truly my safe place.  He works so hard for our family and makes an effort to maintain my happiness.  He knows me at my highs and at my terrible lows and loves me and holds me up when I can't stand.  My kids have turned my heart inside out, only in the best way.  They have helped me love in such a way that I never quite imagined.  I love these kids without end, so much that it I can't breathe sometimes.  I will do anything to protect my children and to keep them innocent as long as possible because children need to be innocent. 

My family dropped me off, and I took my bags and walked away from the van, full of my life.  I cried. Not really visible to those around me, but I did cry.  I didn't cry because I didn't feel they were safe but I cried because my whole life was in that van.  I can't explain it.  I needed this weekend.

It's hard for me to make friends.  I'm kind of awkward and I have tried so hard to not be such a recluse but it just seems to be my lot.  Anyway, I am so grateful for the friendships that I have in my life right now.  I have one older brother and didn't get to experience having sisters as I grew up.  I feel like my very precious friends, are my sisters in the way that counts.  I don't have to have long, heart filled conversations with them.  Sometimes we can connect by a glance across the room and that's all it takes.  I love having girlfriends that I can talk to without censors because I know I won't be judged.  I have come to realize that my happiness, in part, has a lot to do with the presence of my girlfriends.  I went through quite some time without friends and the loneliness was so suffocating.  I couldn't quite pin why I was so unhappy but now I can see that I needed to have friends who weren't there because of obligation but were there(in my life) because they choose to be friends with me.  I don't know if that makes sense.  One thing about me...If I am your friend, I will never stop being your friend.  I think friendships are precious treasures.  The sweet friends I have in my life are just that - treasure. 

Anyway, I feel like I need to just scream a big Thank you.  This weekend helped me regroup and remember my blessings.  I am so grateful for my family, my friends and my life, as hard and hectic as it is...I am grateful!

 

 Pre-race smiles and clean, matching socks!

 

Walking to the start.

 

 

Competitive much?

 

 One last mud pit before the pink finish line.

Post-race smiles and muddy socks.  We don't look dirty, but we became dirty girls!  Washing out our clothes later that day, after we rinsed them at the race proved lots of mud was absorbed.  Until the next Dirty Girl event...team names are now in the works.

 

Looked over my shoulder...

Why do these strange people keep calling me "mom" and expect me to give them snacks?  The little one in the yellow top is especially demanding!
I love these people so much!

Finally, Christmas

**Warning** Super long post to follow with lots and lots of pictures.

So, we kind of had a rough welcome into the Christmas break.  Almost a month of stomach bug woes, which entailed a lot of vomit, diarrhea, laundry in the middle of the night, laundry all the time, and scrubbing vomit off of carpet.  So, needless to say, we were ready for Christmas break to come around so we could get away from everything!  Thankfully, the kids were all in the clear before we made the journey, and journey it was, to Idaho Falls.  We make the trip every other year for Christmas.  I don't think I would mind if it wasn't a 2 whole days in the car driving sort of thing.  But with kids, we can't really force it or we would all be screaming and in tears.  We had DVD players, DS system, lots of blankets and snacks.  Jeff's sister, Mindy, lives in St. George and we crashed at their place.  It's sort of half way to our destination so it's a nice place to stop.  Plus, it's always so fun to stay there. And, this stop made for us meeting the newest Bird twinners!  I fell kind of in love with Oliver and Griffin, or maybe it was just the right amount of baby I needed to fill my baby void.  I loved holding them and right before we left I had a chance to hold both of them at the same time and I was a little overwhelmed and totally in awe of Mindy's charge.  We also had not seen our other nephews, Lincoln and Parker, in a while.  4 kids 3 and younger!  I actually got Lincoln to talk to me a few times, and that was kind of awesome for me because I feel like he doesn't see us often enough to really know us so it was fun that he didn't mind us invading his house.  Mindy and Jesse are such good hosts and so welcoming, we love you guys!
Once we finally made it to Idaho, freezing but no snow, we didn't really drive much - thankfully so!  The kids didn't understand why there wasn't any snow, but nature was rumbling and snow was had most of the time we were there it was either snowing or just snowed.  The kids loved that!  A snowman was built, just one and it by the time it came to build the head it was a bit small!  It was my way of working out while on vacation, building a snowman.  A couple of days after the snowman was built, I saw several children (including 3 of mine) delightfully kicking the poor snowman until it fell apart.  It was a bit disturbing but they were having so much fun that I had to laugh.  We went sledding and riding on fun and fast snow mobiles, Jeff and Veronica tried cross country skiing and I froze my buns the entire time.  I forgot my one and only "winter" coat and I don't have proper footwear for snow. 
It's nice to be with Jeff's family during this time of year.  Jeff's mom, Mary, made us incredible dinners every single night and always made sure she had fun things for the kids.  I think it's awesome how she had the kids make chocolate houses, and let them decorate them however they pleased (that is only an activity that a grandma can do...because as a parent I would be too annoying) and there was one night that she had them do carmel apples.  I think this is what Christmas is all about.  Not so much candy indulgence but spending time together as family and creating memories that are sweet and tender.  We did the traditional Enos family bowling, minus Mary because she volunteered to stay home with the babies (Violet and Logan). 

Christmas morning. Love this!

 Violet, Vanessa, Rosie and David.

 Violet helping grandma make baked oatmeal.  So good!

 Remnants of the snowman.

 David asked for a picture so long as it didn't show the pink snow pants.

 Just thought this was cool looking.

This is my adorable Matthew.  He's my nephew. I think he is the sweetest little guy!  I wanted to give him hugs all the time.
Angela, is in the background.  Jeff, David, Veronica and Hannah are also in the background.

 Jeff taking little Rosie and David on the sled.  Since we don't own snow clothes we borrowed a lot from the Kohler's.  David had to wear these pink snow pants.  After a lot of tears he finally agreed and had the best time after he wasn't freezing.  We didn't have the heart to tell him that the boots he was wearing were girl boots too.

Vanessa, Hailey, Hannah and Rose checking out the dog. Just looking at the dog made me shiver!

 I reminded Vanessa that she wanted to make a snow angel but then I took her mittens off and this otherwise happy occasion turned into a very cold and sad affair.  Sorry.

Rose with a very sticky, chocolate caramel apple.

.

I love this time of year because everything seems to slow down at night.  I loved being in Idaho because at night it was actually quiet!  I could listen to the snow, which is kind of beautiful.  If you haven't tried, you really should.  I love seeing family that I don't get to see very often - Rachel, Darrin and Logan Bronson; Tom, Angela, Hannah, Hailey, Matthew and Rosie Kohler; Mindy, Jesse, Lincoln, Parker, Griffin and Oliver Bird, and of course Craig and Mary.  I love Jeff's family and how everyone gets along.  I love all my neices and nephews!  I can't wait for when all the cousins are together!  Being in IF made me miss my parents and my brother and his family.  We celebrate differently but the memories that we are creating with each other are the same.  I love slowing down and being with family, whichever side they come from!  I did miss going to the LA Temple on Christmas Eve to see the lights and coming back and eating a late night pan con chumpe.  We did drive David and Veronica over to the Idaho Falls Temple, no lights but the river was semi-frozen and beautiful.  I hope we all had an amazing Christmas.  Where ever I am at the moment, so long as Jeff isn't far from sight I will have the most amazing Christmas.  He really is the best man for me.  I know I am the luckiest!  Jeff and my kids are my home, my safety and my life, so long as I have that close by me I am so blessed.